Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
