i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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