Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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