You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
