I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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