I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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