We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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