You can't motorboat a personality
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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