So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
