Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Randomize
