imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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