Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
smell my finger.
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yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
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Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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