I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
