He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
