it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
