I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I understand Curling. That high.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Randomize
