i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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