Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
