Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
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I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
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It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.