Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
