I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.