tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
