I'm jealous of your bromance
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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