His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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