dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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