why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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