"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
