If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
