U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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