Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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