We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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