can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
