Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize