I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
