do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
