i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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