is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
