Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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