Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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