3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize