your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
