I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
