so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
