There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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