He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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