Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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