"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
