Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
