her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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