small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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