sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
