I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
