You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
