omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
we're making bets on your personal life
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
