But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
