he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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