so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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