are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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