is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
