You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
