If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
