its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
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you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
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Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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