hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize