Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
