Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
