just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
