Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
