Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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