worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
